Us

I have sat and stared at this photo for days. I’ve wanted to write about marriage and relationships after having a baby. I’ve wanted to address the importance of postpartum planning and how it is all tied together.

I seem at a loss for words. I’ve typed a hundred different things for this post and deleted them all. I just can’t seem to gather it all together to make any sense, well any worth sharing.

So…this photo. We had an unexpected pregnancy and as I cursed and cried, this guy held me and reassured me that it would all be ok. It wasn’t all ok but in that moment, it’s what I needed to hear.

I feel safest when I’m in his arms. Gah, just typing that makes my eyes well with tears.

I look at this photo and think about all we’ve been through and where we are now. I could go into details about having a great pregnancy, great midwife care, a great supportive community, an involved partner, a baby that slept, how we continued to cook dinners together and visit coffee shops on the weekend. I could go into detail about how we had to make a move with a one year old against our will and find new jobs, a new home and new friends. Or I could go into detail how shift work and demands of a toddler always interrupting conversation took a toll on our marriage. Or I could share how developing anxiety has created a whole new level of things within life, marriage and parenting.

Or, I could just say this. In his arms. I feel safe. This photo. From the moment we found out we were pregnant to the days now where I cry for no reason or a hundred reasons, his arms. For some that may sound silly and some think I should be strong enough to stand on my own…but marriage isn’t that. Marriage is a partnership and a choice and

I

am

so

thankful

that through it all….I can still feel safe in his arms and that we choose each other daily. Marriage takes work, but it is a partnership that can be beautiful if we take the time to BE present together. And as I look at this photo I can see it. That love. That bond and I’m so thankful it’s stood the test of time.

Communication.

Vulnerability.

Honesty.

No judgments.

Attentive listening.

Quality time.

Supporting dreams.

Space + self care.

Dual parenting.

Intimacy.

Speaking their love language.

Communication. Always.

Thank you Dale for being my safe place and letting me be in your arms daily. I need you and want you and desire you and most of all, I choose you. Forever and always.

xx

No-Bake Lactation Bites

Well, things sure look different for me as a doula these days. Amidst the chaos of Covid-19, we are all trying to stay sane and busy and healthy all the while being contained to our homes. I feel you. It breaks my heart that I can’t come to your homes to prepare meals and snacks, make tea, hold baby while you shower, fold a load of laundry to help you feel sane or just chat over tea about all that is going on with you and your new baby. The joys, challenges, fears, concerns, accomplishments….it’s just not the same via Skype. So, I thought I’d share a little taste of what I offer when I’m in person and I hope that you can make these or have a family member whip them up to help keep you nourished in the early days when you need those one-handed snacks to keep you going between feeds and naps.

Know that I am here to talk on the phone or have tea over Skype. You are not alone and I will always be here to listen, offer advice if needed and be a calming voice through all that is going on right now.

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No-Bake Lactation Bites

• 1 cup oats

• 10 dates

• 1/3 cup brewers yeast

• 1/2 cup peanut butter

• 1/4 cup almond milk

• 1/4 cup honey

• 1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

Process the dates into a paste in a food processor. (Soak them first in hot water to soften, for about 10 minutes, then strain and process.

Add the oats. Stir in brewers yeast and peanut butter.

Add almond milk, honey and chocolate chips.

Roll into 1 tablespoon size bites and chill in the fridge.

Enjoy!!

1 bite contains:

12g sugar, 4g fat, 2g fibre, 112 calories, 23mg sodium, 17g carbs. 3g protein