Us

postpartum

I have sat and stared at this photo for days. I’ve wanted to write about marriage and relationships after having a baby. I’ve wanted to address the importance of postpartum planning and how it is all tied together.

I seem at a loss for words. I’ve typed a hundred different things for this post and deleted them all. I just can’t seem to gather it all together to make any sense, well any worth sharing.

So…this photo. We had an unexpected pregnancy and as I cursed and cried, this guy held me and reassured me that it would all be ok. It wasn’t all ok but in that moment, it’s what I needed to hear.

I feel safest when I’m in his arms. Gah, just typing that makes my eyes well with tears.

I look at this photo and think about all we’ve been through and where we are now. I could go into details about having a great pregnancy, great midwife care, a great supportive community, an involved partner, a baby that slept, how we continued to cook dinners together and visit coffee shops on the weekend. I could go into detail about how we had to make a move with a one year old against our will and find new jobs, a new home and new friends. Or I could go into detail how shift work and demands of a toddler always interrupting conversation took a toll on our marriage. Or I could share how developing anxiety has created a whole new level of things within life, marriage and parenting.

Or, I could just say this. In his arms. I feel safe. This photo. From the moment we found out we were pregnant to the days now where I cry for no reason or a hundred reasons, his arms. For some that may sound silly and some think I should be strong enough to stand on my own…but marriage isn’t that. Marriage is a partnership and a choice and

I

am

so

thankful

that through it all….I can still feel safe in his arms and that we choose each other daily. Marriage takes work, but it is a partnership that can be beautiful if we take the time to BE present together. And as I look at this photo I can see it. That love. That bond and I’m so thankful it’s stood the test of time.

Communication.

Vulnerability.

Honesty.

No judgments.

Attentive listening.

Quality time.

Supporting dreams.

Space + self care.

Dual parenting.

Intimacy.

Speaking their love language.

Communication. Always.

Thank you Dale for being my safe place and letting me be in your arms daily. I need you and want you and desire you and most of all, I choose you. Forever and always.

xx